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V.W.O.B. #2 Apolo Oh No!

February 15, 2010

So I’ve missed a few days. Not cause of laziness folks, but rather cause of work. Believe it or not, I’m not a full-time blogger yet. I’m not a full-time anything. And I was full-time sick lastnight, cause I haen’t been living like an Olympian. Back to the matter at hand there’s been a lot of Olympics going on, and I’m going to try and catch up on all of it, but instead of trying to cover a whole slew of missed events, I’ll tackle them post to post, so lots of post, yay!

The largest concern for everyone should be the obvious return of Apolo “Oh no its Apolo Ohno” Ohno. The now most decorated Winter Olympian(he’s tied for it) is back again, to all of our chagrin. The news calls it his trademark bandana, ponytail, and soul patch, like those are good things. I think they should call it, all the things that make him incredibly annoying and lame. Soul patches are actually a sign of lack of soul and an internet connection. And just like the undead, he’s  back, which is an ongoing problem for me, cause we’re from the same town, so he’s a hero there or something. However,  I find his lack of awareness for it not being the 90s anymore, ie his face, a clear indicator of non hero traits. He looks like a guy at a Gin Blossoms concert, or a undercover Canadian cop. They’re different! The bad news is most likely he will win again, and will become the actually most decorated. Then he’ll be on all sorts of cereal boxes, news programs, PSAs. Then kids will want to speed skate, and there will be a twilight-esque following/rebirth of the sport. That whole time no one will be working on cancer, and then where will be. I think I don’t like him, cause he’s so cocksure, yet horrible. My head is full of snot and hate. Let’s hope he wins then we get to hate him more.

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