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V.W.O.B. #5 I want the cold war back.

February 18, 2010

One thing that’s lacking from contemporary Winter Games is a geo-political back story to raise the stakes. For almost a century we had the good ol’ Cold War to heighten the mood of Winter Olympic outcomes. Podium appearances in hockey, skiing, ice-skating, and all the other events, all really were hash marks for the Soviets, or good guys. That’s right, US, the righteous ones. But now that that is gone, it really softens the blow of seeing a Russian fall on a jump, cause we know that their families won’t be shipped to Siberia as a fair punishment. It’s not the same. I’ve often lamented that I miss the cold war, because I was raised to hate Russians and communist devils, and now I’m supposed to just forget about Fivel and Spies Like Us, and turn over a new leaf of hating Arabs and the Muslim world. Nice try, but until the Iranians field a good skater, and Palestine a competitive hockey squad, I just can’t turn off my moral compass and hate them for their nationality. It’s not that easy.

Just too intimidate, he hangs out with the ugliest man in the world(you know which one),

Having said this Yvgeni Plushenko does make a pretty sweet bad guy. Especially cause sometimes he crimps his bangs and not his mullet. I’m gonna eat so much edamame and drink so much sparkling water during this long program tonight. FUCK YOU RUSSIA! Oh shit this got a whole lotta hetero all of a sudden.

but his only friend is a horse.

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