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Calgary, AB is going to make me a better father…

May 21, 2010

I mean blogger…

So I’ve just checked into my room at the Blackfoot Inn, here in beautiful Calgary, AB. Can you hear the giant sigh of relief? It’s giant sized. Its been two days since I arrived here, but due to extenuating circumstances, some my own fault, and some other’s, I am just now settling in, ie unpacking, shaving, showering, eating lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant where they hated my patronage. Anyways, its amazing. This is the comic room, so it smells like smoke and sins, and I’m sure there isn’t a surface that doesn’t have a few people’s DNA on it, but its nice. Rory Scovel filmed a short called The Apartment here a couple years ago if you need to see what it looks like, look here. Its exactly the same. If only I could pull some tail, the room is big enough for a six-some.
Calgary is alright. It’s not bad, but its not great either. I’m also in a part of town that is a industrial park, and the closest thing is a mall, but its a nice mall. I saw MacGruber there last night, and it was pretty funny. I hope they use that on the poster. But it’s one of those cities, where no one lives downtown, so when work is over, downtown is a ghost place.
My first night here I went for cheap and got what I paid for. The hostel I stayed at was literally on the other side of the tracks, and it looked like a part of town where they had forgot to finish building stuff. While most hostels are full of young traveller types, ie Australians and the occasional old European person, this was full of people that looked like they were running from something. I don’t know how to describe it other than a classical literary kind of hostility, like the kind of danger you read about in novels, where men are so underworked and without purpose they just seethe and drink and fight. I was sitting in my bunk taking a nap, and two guys who had been staying in the room for a while came in, I said hello, and they replied with nothing, but disdainful looks like I had asked them if they wanted to cuddle. Since I was pretty sure they were going to kill me in my sleep, I tried and stay up later then them, but they apparently had hookers to strangle, and so I feel before they did. I shit you not, I woke up at 8am to them grumbling to each other about how they were going to change rooms, while looking in my direction. Luckily I won, and by that I didn’t die, and there still tramps in training, which is apparently a program up here that takes young Albertans and molds them through manual labor and no outlet for masculine energy into angry old broken men. I also have my beautiful hotel room.
None of this is substantiated, and I actually have had a surprisingly good time. I just caught the C-Train to Thai Tai for late night Vietnamese subs, which they have hella of up here and they didn’t even hate me at this one. Oh and FYI, you remember how we used to come to Canada, and things were higher priced, but in Canadian money, and then we also have a dollar that was one half as strong? Remember how we were dicks about it. Well now their dollar is even, cause they didn’t elect drunk/autistic/evil business men to lead them, and so everything up here is hecka expensive. Like Europe, but if you were in Omaha, but twenty years ago.

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