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Jack Rabbit Slim Pickings.

May 24, 2010

So I just made it home, which was fucking terrifying, cause I have to walk home from the C Train across an industrial park, which is like a scene from the movie The Road, well during the day it is, at night its more like the Warriors, except I never run into anyone. That is except one of the characters above. That should tell you a lot about Calgary, I saw two jack rabbits on my walk home, and since it’s so North the sun stays out till almost 11pm. When its dry and windy, the air is sweet, and you can smell the wheat from the plains. I assume its wheat.

The main point is the town is kind of rugged, you can feel how far you are away from the states, and its definitely a culture gap. The same you’d find between Americans and Europeans, but add hockey, lots of beer, and everyone works in some capacity for the oil industry. They extract it from the sands in Northern Alberta, and it is said that there is five times the reserves that middle east offers. They call it the Texas of Canada. Guess who we’re invading next America? Although they’re a tough breed up here, and we’d have a good fight on our hands. My act was definitely a struggle; sober vegan, aka rainbow penis float sponsored by a sparkling water company. I told a kind of god is fake joke, and it was answered with the sound of dust settling on tables.

I like it up here though, there is enough to keep you busy, and no way are the people not with it, just a different way of life. I’m also isolated, which is nice, cause I’ve just stayed in my hotel and wrote the whole weekend. If you ever need to get something done, go to a town where you don’t have much to do, stay in the part of town where the closest grocery store is a gas station, and you’ll be good to go. If you’re trying to save money, do like me and only buy food you can cook with a drip coffee maker. Remember to spend at least an hour on the stationary bike, for reals.

Today the first person I spoke to was the woman that served at the Tim Horton’s. I realized that this is the least I’ve ever spoken to people before. Its weird not to have that contact with anyone, you’re inner monologue becomes the dominant conversation, which led me to believe I would go crazy within in weeks in a  hole type of situation, I’d even go crazy in my beautiful furnished and flat screened outfitted hotel room. When people say they are people persons, I think every sane person is, we need that contact, even if its the small exchanges of acquaintances. You know what’s weird is that I’m never as scared walking through New York or any comparable city at night, as I am in these small towns. There’s too much boredom and survival in the air, it just feels more dangerous. Its clearly paranoia, but what’s scarier, running into a stranger on the street, or one on a trail. Secrets don’t leave the woods, wait I’m quoting my cub scout master. JOKING…

The funny thing about traveling though, is that no matter where I go, I always seem to encounter people that want to invite you into their world in a completely selfless way. Like the second somewhere hears you’re on your own, its like come join me, feel free to stay at my place, etc. Tonight I bummed a smoke from a guy, and after a second of small talk he invited me to join his fiance and her friend while they ate. Never met em before, didn’t have any common acquaintances, just small talk. It reconfirms one’s faith in humanity, that is until you watch the news, especially Nancy Grace. Somebody should point a fire hose at her face and tie duct tape her to a heavy stone.

I just realized I’m not being funny, if need be see my twitter feed. Goodnight, I’ll be back in America in 30 hours.

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