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June 10, 2010

Holy shit you guys! You see that? Notice how the “Days” slot is at zero? Notice how, that means there’s less than a day? I just yelped on this bus I’m so excited, like a small dog. I also shake. I’m not even a patriot, although I wish the US luck. I’m just excited for the games. While everyone else is stoked by their nationalistic fervor I will be purely championing the event itself, I don’t care who wins, that’s a lie, I’ll pissed if someone annoying wins it, like North Korea, cause they’re Asian. JOKING, they’re terrorist. But also Jesus Christ?! If you return this month, don’t fuck with any of the games, and admit that my nonbelief in you is based in sound logic.
I’m too excited to start this gracefully, but I’m going to try, like I do for every Euro-centric sporting event, I’m going to also try and blog everyday of the World Cup. I’m also going to try and watch every game, but I might need to eat, and pay bills, so I might also have to work here and there, but then I’ll upgrade my ESPN World Cup App to premium, which includes live radio coverage of all the games. I bet you have to have wifi, bastards.
My plan a year ago was to go to the cup and do some kind of web correspondence, where I would be like a comedic twist on the usual coverage. Oddly enough, I did nothing to bring this about aside from smoking a lot of pot and thinking about. Also odd the industry didn’t come and find me, and instead chose to use professionals who already had experience with this kind of thing, and greater knowledge of sports. No problem, 31 will be just as good an age to cover the Cup, by then I’ll be famous, and Rooney and I will tease Ribery over twitter. This is all assuming the Mayans are wrong about 2012. I think they are.
I’m going to make the Creek in LIC my homebase in NYC for most of the tournament. They have two projector screens, and thus you will never have to worry about overlaps while watching. Also they have awesome Mexican food, a patio, and the staff is rad, so if you’re in that hood go there to watch. That read like an advertisement. I really hang out there. I’ve house sat for Rebecca, the owner. She’s practically family. You better go you sons of bitches, even if you don’t in New York. I’m sorry I don’t even know your moms.
Otherwise, I’m going to lose my mind for a month starting in a mere twenty something hours. See you on the other side. Also I’m going to try and do way more tiny blogs instead of long treatises rambling from tangential dead end to tangential no outlet.
Hey world, we’re going to remember this thing for the rest of our lives

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