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I’ve been meaning to post this for a while…

July 9, 2010


I really like this guy, and heard he opened for a lot of the more intimate shows on Drakes tour, which makes me like both of them more. I don’t anything else. Not even how to embed the player instead of this shitty Youtube still. The songs good though, right…

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Fort of July.

July 4, 2010


This guy isn’t allowed at my party.

Something about the Fourth of July, and holidays in general just makes me want to do bad stuff. I don’t mean like kill a guy, but definitely get in a little trouble, possibly light some shit on fire, nothing that has people in it. You see it even in the mundane, how non-cool people, you know, squares, parents, whites, etc. will eat cows-worth-o-beef (that’s a form of measurement) and wash it down with cake and beer, on some monthly exception, literally more calories than your average African village, and they excuse it cause a nation or a saint was born a hundred years back. I am no exception, today’s evil will include smoking pot till I think the fireworks are a pretty beginning to WW3, immigrant chasing, and a bear knuckle cage match with a pugilist somewhere near Flushing Queens. That is we will be wearing bear’s knuckles. There are no rules on America’s birthday.
As we all know the World Cup has come to a somewhat blah semifinals, and all I have to say is I am completely indifferent to a winner now, as long as they aren’t Germany. We all know what you did, we don’t need to be putting any wind in their sails just yet. Although how funny is it to think of Hitler having to deal with a fairly multi-cultural team. That just concluded my knew favorite pasttime of being prejudice to white foreigners. I finally found a loophole in the racism, and its great. FUCK THE KRAUTS. That felt great to say. JK, Happy Birthday easy living, and then me next Sunday. Send presents to the TGIFridays at Northgate Mall in Seattle, WA. I’ll be the one wearing the leather vest and the bottom half an astronaut costume. The drugs are working.

8 Games.

July 1, 2010


So I’m fairing pretty well in the twilight that is the two day break between the Group of Sixteen games and the Quarterfinals. They’re called Quarterfinals, cause there’s four of them, after that it’s Semifinals, but I don’t think semi means half, or two, it just means partial. Its early, not really, but I wrote that for myself. Anyways, there’s seven real games left, and one third place playoff, which is totally conciliatory, cause seriously, who were the last three third place teams in the world cup? No one can answer that question, not even the Answer, who is either Allen Iverson, or Die Antwoord, depending on where you live. PS I have tickets to Die Antwoord in late July, hope Yo-Landi likes Diamonds and Champagne, cause that’s the flavor of incense I bought her. Shit, the coffee is just now turning on the part of my brain that makes sense.
The stupid thing is I have yesterday and today off, and those are the two days there’s no games. The rest of this month I’ve been struggling to catch all the games however I can, even watching them on my iPhone MobiTV app while driving, sorry to all those people I ran over. Now I have nothing to wake up for other than the coffee and Chinese pastries that keep me going and slightly fat. I learned yesterday how to say thank you, Shi Shi. I’m not sure how you spell it, but that’s how its sounds. One nice thing is New York finally decided to be livable temperature wise. I swear that it has felt like someone was chasing me with a hair dryer for the last week, and we all know that’s my greatest fear. I should erase this. But at night its even cool, bordering cold. I have to use blankets, and the breeze blows cool across my abdomen raising the the skin tight across my six pack… Sorry sometimes I have weather induced bouts of Erotic Literature Tourettes. But its nice, feels like I’m camping.
The point of me blogging this AM, I should say bloggin, make it urban, is that I wanted to mention how fun watching matches when there’s a backstory, politically, historically, or geographically, which for the most part is over, but there’s still a few opportunities. For instance if Argentina, Brazil, Paraguay and Uruguay win, all the teams left are from the South American continent. Spain plays Paraguay, which is its former colony, which I think isn’t really a factor, but earlier in the cup, it was nice to see Mexico trounce France when you consider that Napoleon invaded Mexico, I think twice. When Senegal beat France in I think, 2002, it became a national holiday for post-colonial reasons. Brazil and Portugal obviously also have this degree of edge, although I think they don’t have too many hard feelings. If England would have beat Germany, they would’ve played Argentina, which they used to fight a war with over the essentially worthless Falkland Islands, but the feelings are still there, and this is only stoked by Maradona’s “Hand of God” play from his hand scored goal in the 86 Cup. If Paraguay somehow beats Spain, which is unlikely, Spain has better Mullets, they will go on to play Argentina, who they are currently in a Border Conflict with. There’s a million more scenarios and backstories, but this is why soccer is so great. Wars have started and ended over a single game. Allied and Central powers never put down their weapons for a game of baseball, cricket, tennis, or American football, you know the football you play mostly with your hands? That’s why I never feel very bad about the US losing, cause we win everything else, and while its sad that Dempsey and Altidore may never know the feeling of holding the Cup above their head, they also live in the VIP section of the world. Who’s getting bottle service?

World What?

June 27, 2010


The round of 16 is in full swing, and despite my last minute endorsement, the USA is out. Hey good for Ghana, they have a continent behind them, not a percentage of one nation whose support is ambiguous at best. AND, their goals were fucking superb. Also, I feel weird when Americans start chanting U-S-A, it just feels like there’s gonna be a hate crime, that or an explosion. I just watched the England v. Germany match, and I felt the same way about the German fans. Like, “hey you guys, you shouldn’t be so proud, we still remember what you did.” But that’s not what the World Cup is about, its about coming together, and pretending we like soccer, but really we just brunch. Sorry, I watched the last game at a Soho pub full of rich young beautiful white people, and the ease at which they live, just has to be at the expense of someone else, right? I couldn’t help but hate how well they were doing, a lot of them had the new iPhone, and it didn’t look like they had to wait.
Anyways, Argentina v. Mexico is about an hour away, and while out-skilled Mexico should make this a good game. I should probably go to Sunset Park and watch in a laundromat to really experience this, but New York feels like a comfortable hell right, so I’m gonna go look for a walk in refrigerator and watch it there. Realistically I watch on my iPhone in my non-lit apartment, which is great, cause this is how Gollum would watch it. Who is he rooting for, especially since New Zealand is out? I know who I’m rooting for. Vamos Mexico! Pero Argentina tambien! That’s the problem with soccer, I want the underdogs to win, but the better the team, the better the games, right? Argentina has certainly the most stacked roster of international stars, and seriously, none of them are pricks, but there coach is Maradona, who is fat and fun to watch. Then there’s Mexico, which I love as a country, and cuisine. I’m flummoxed, but Vela plays for Arsenal, ok I’ll root for Mexico, as long as they win.
Read more…

Sometimes…

June 27, 2010

you run across something that just is…

Lightning strikes three of the tallest buildings in Chicago at the same time! from Craig Shimala on Vimeo.

Ok, I’m gonna kind of wish them luck…

June 26, 2010

Forty-five minutes from USA v. Ghana, and I think, although I’m not too thrilled about either, the USA might be more fun to like than hate. For years I’ve let my disapproval of Americanism in general cloud my feelings about the US Soccer team, like when I hear U-S-A chanting, my brain goes to My-Lai massacre and obesity, but let’s step back. This is a new America, post-racial(not really), poor(really), in crisis, and admitting it(for really). Maybe this team is full of mellow mannered non-aggressive types, I bet some of them are vegetarians, I bet most if not all of them voted for Obama. I bet Obama will watch this game. I wouldn’t want to piss off Obama. So I’ll support them, I don’t think they’re that good. The MLS is like watching a really good high school soccer game, and the national team isn’t much better, but if I want us to get better in general, its got to start somewhere. So U-S-A, but quietly, so no one else hears it.

I know what you’re not thinking…

June 14, 2010

But I realized while Sean Patton was making fun of blogs the other night, that it is indeed, supremely self-important to assume anyone would care what I think about soccer games that have already happened. It might as well be me saying here’s how I feel about games I’ve watched. So, I’m gonna chime in with peripheral observations about the Cup, and maybe some little known facts, but not “hey let me recap what you already know and don’t care about.” Honestly, I only write about it so people know that I watch soccer, and someday give me a job being a funny correspondent, but no one who reads this hires at ESPN, BBC, FSN, Sky, or whatever place hires those people, if you do, I’m ready to drop everything and fly to S.A. to hang with the Bafana Bafana. I think that’s something they call the South African soccer team.
I say think, and don’t check cause I’m operating by iPhone. I just moved into my new apartment in the LES, yeah poor pimpin, and the hotel I steal wireless from is spotty, plus I’ve been moving, which is something that should immediately leave me out of the blogging world, although if I did, I smell book deal and movie where Amy Adams plays me.
I have been watching though, the picture above, is sideways, but is the picture my iPhone picks up from the 10 dollar MobiTV app, which streams all the games live, we live in the future. Quick thoughts from the last three days, underwhelming, although that Tshabalala goal was literally one f the best I’ve ever seen. Argentina looks strong, and Germany, holy fuck. Also Ghana, I predict a quarterfinals for them, they were really strong today.
Off to bed, I’m gonna be listening at 7:30 am to ESPN 1050 am to hear the Danes and the Dutch play, while moving, pinche trabajo!