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New blog…

October 7, 2010


Behold the one eyed French Bulldog.

Hey Everyone,

Not that anyone reads this thing, but since I’m fancy, I have a new website/blog.

It’s at the same address, kind of, http://www.imandyhaynes.com

I’m gonna link it to my twitter.

I’m gonna try harder.

I promise.

ANDY

I’m gonna buy these…

August 27, 2010


And now my blog is like Kanye’s, where I just show you cool stuff, except he really buys it. Really though I’m in Milwaukee, and the old iPhone stock headphones were almost silent on the G5, that’s an expensive personal jet, I really fly Delta Connection, Gold Medallion Member, whatever. But I’ve always wanted a nice pair of headphones, but I also don’t want to look like I like rap music too much, which isn’t hard since I wear a lot of “knits” from J Crew, and the last post was Jim Croce. So I’m gonna buy grown up headphones, like the kind Dad’s listen to vinyl with, but I don’t do that, cause I’m not old as shit. Take that antiquated technology!

Not now, but sometimes…

August 27, 2010

I totally get what old Jim is talking about, but he may not have been so lonely had he shaved that stache. Anyways, this song combines nostalgia for a summer that is too close to over, and a message calling New York City a “meanie.” It’s a nice song anyways, and although it may be eventually true, since I’m not a ball-breaker or a millionaire, and I like nature, I just thought it was kind of nice.

Ok.

August 18, 2010

I don’t care if this is a spoof, or a joke, or a character, it looks awesome. I hope I can get famous enough someday, just so I can turn into a rapping caveman and reject it all for a farm in the San Juans. Unfortunately I don’t know if I’m talented enough, and I definitely will never be able to grow a beard, unless there’s such a thing as really late bloomer.

District Fine…

August 13, 2010


I’m in DC for the week/end, and as always its great. Young, smart, diverse, the temperature of the devil’s taint, its always a perfect mini-trip down here, plus my dad has a big tv and Fox Soccer Channel in HD, AND the Premiere League starts tomorrow. Sorry I just broke a bottle on a lorry driver’s bald head after saying “les-hav-it.” Anyways, after fun shows, and some good old kickin it with the rents (my dad and I had a trying time in the Passport office), I thought I’d remind everybody how awesome Wale is. He’s the only rapper I know from DC, he’s one of my faves, and he is definitely the only rapper in the fucking world to dedicate two entire mixtapes to Seinfeld. If I still lived here, I would start a blog called DMV-Necks. Happy Weekend.

Download Wale – More About Nothing here

Laundry Day…

August 4, 2010

Spottie – Heritage EP Exclusive Download by ChoiceCuts

It’s muggy out, and due to my lack of time/motivation, I have gone through all my clothes, mainly carrying stuff up and down stairs, for people, for money. I am currently sweating it out in a pair of too small bootleg Brazil shorts. Its a classy look with, also fake Ray-Bans and my favorite orange soda water. FYI I know I should have to have sex with men when I write stuff like that. I essentially just asked for it. I’ve been consumed by the fatigue of heat and work, ie moving, which is impossible to be funny after. I found this out with a super bomb at Bar 4 on Sunday night. It was like wading into a warm tub of suck and just kind of soaking it in. I’ve remedied the whole situation with lots of sleep, lots of coffee, and listening to lots of rap music. The above song, is a cover, but has been an summer chillin anthem for everybody and their moms, cool moms, since it came out my junior year of high school. There were a lot of moms at my high school, teen moms. Its like announcing to the world, there’s gonna be a motherfucking barbeque, and if we can find them horseshoes or corn-hole, that too. Drink whatever you drink cold, enjoy the waning days of summer.

I’m back…

July 21, 2010

So I’m back from my high school reunion and the Just for Laughs fest in Montreal, and New York is kicking my butt with heat, poverty, and a strong reminder that I’m not quite a natural at the funny ha ha, more like the fail, fail, success, repeat, ha ha. Imagine how well I’d be doing if I were a some kind of phenom? I’m more than halfway through my year of no traveling outside of comedy stuff, and boy does it suck to live some place this hot without a blue beach and palm trees. Then again we have a somewhat functioning economy and healthcare system, so screw it. Thanks to the Fader blog, I’m constantly reminded that there’s a whole world of music and art going on, and I am just a digital tourist in it. Here’s to hoping I can return to places where people know how to dance, and pale people don’t dominate. Enjoy…

Favela On Blast – Official Trailer from Mad Decent on Vimeo.

I’ll be at Castlebraid in Bushwick on Thursday, hosting Hot Soup on Friday, and at the Creek on Saturday for Clushterfuck and Midnight Run.